A Change to Grace
by ASummerBreeze
Summary: In a world where a woman's place is in the home, one woman chose to make the army hers. Li Shang, torn between passion and duty, must find a balance to steady her on, or it will cost them their lives. Some graphic scenes, all het.
1. Chapter 1

A Change to Grace

Chapter One.

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><p><em>You are a DISGRACE! You may look like a bride, but you will never bring your family honor!<em>

Mulan woke with a start as the nightmare shook her to her senses and she shivered, glancing to the end of the tent, where Mushu was fast asleep. She was freezing. And her nerves were on end as she remembered the Matchmaker's dripping, hideous face. "Get it together," She chided herself, sitting up from the ground to stretch. It wasn't dawn yet. But she wasn't sure she'd be able to settle down enough to sleep another couple of hours. Dressing in Ping's clothing, and drawing up her hair, she moved silently out of the tent to go to the main campfire.

It still burned, very softly. Just enough to emit some warmth. She could hear the other men snoring in their tents all around, and it almost made her roll her eyes. She didn't understand why men, such loud and obnoxious creatures could be afforded more respect than women. Mulan knew she wasn't the most graceful of them, but it would seem they were the true warriors between bearing and raising children and, in a way, continuing to look after their husbands like their children. Truth be told, she didn't understand why that sort of thing required grace at all.

With a sigh, the young woman picked up a small twig from the ground and poked at the cinders, waking them from their own slumber to sizzle against the damp wood. Mulan would be a fool to claim she understood much about society. She wasn't like the other girls in more ways than one. She was smart, and clever. As a child she had played chess games against Fa Zhu and his friends only to amuse them by winning. As she had gotten older, they had been less amused. And while she was not poised and delicate, she was spry and enthusiastic. She got her work done around the farm and on most days, on good days, she enjoyed it.

There was a rustling behind her, and she snapped her head to look back, and nearly fell over when she realized it was Captain Li approaching her. She had to get it together. Knowing her she'd start fumbling in her normal voice and blow her cover. Clearing her throat, and realizing that her hand had fallen to the sword on her hip, she laughed low in her throat, nervously. "Captain, I uh…I thought you were a Hun for a second there."

* * *

><p>"Your reflexes have improved, Fa Ping," He sidestepped the younger soldier to sit near him, also restless. He didn't pay mind to the boy for a moment, warming his hands before he tossed some fresh wood into the cinders. Unseen, Mushu crept up and breathed until a flame ignited the dry wood. He hid before the Captain could catch sight, and Shang smiled to himself before addressing Ping.<p>

"You see why I believe in you men, Ping? Why my father believed in me? The cinders were only just burning but with some new fuel, they could light just as strong of a fire as the flint."

Ping grimaced slightly, and scratched the back of his head. He supposed there was a lesson beyond that, that a little deception could go a long way. He hoped he wouldn't have to worry about that. "Yeah I uh…you're a great leader, like your father, Captain. Without your spark we'd…all fizzle out." Boy, men sure had strange euphamisms.

Shang smiled a little, probably the most genuine emotion Ping had ever seen on his face, and he was dumbfounded by it. Internally, Mulan couldn't help but remark about how handsome that made him, which made Ping blush and look away. "You know Ping you were a pretty sorry excuse when you showed up, but I think with a little courage you could be as great of a warrior as your father."

And that didn't help the blushing. Ping looked up at the captain and their eyes met a moment, before they both looked away. Shame, shame, shame on them both. Shang felt a strange mixture of elation and disgust from the intimate little moment. He didn't know what kept drawing him to this younger man but he prayed, daily, for his ancestors to protect him from that strange sensation. It was true, he had focused his youth and early adulthood on his training at his father's side. Not much time had been left for girls, so he assumed it was just a perverted expression of his inner frustrations.

"Uh…ahem. Would you care to spar this morning?" The captain stood, gazing down at his cadet. Ping cleared his throat before standing as well.

"Sure."

They left the area of tents, and pursued a clearer place where they bowed and began to engage in some simple combat. Mostly, Shang was testing him to see what he had learned so far. The better Ping did, the more difficult Shang made it. By the time Ping was down, the sun was preparing to rise in the distance. Shang, out of breath, moved to offer him his hand to help him up.

But something curious happened.

As he bent over his comrade, he noted that Ping's hair had come loose, and was falling around his face. And if Shang didn't know any better, he would have called what he saw beauty. He found himself staring down at him until Ping felt up around his head and realized that his hair was out of it's tie, and he began to laugh nervously as Shang tentatively helped him sit up.

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><p>"Aha, sorry about that!" Mulan, released ever so briefly from her disguise, was panicking inside. She dusted herself off and tried to keep her cool. After all, a panic would be more suspicious than for her, or Ping, rather, to shrug it off. So he had a pretty face. Such was his curse.<p>

Standing, she quickly scooped her hair up and tried to knot it despite the way her hands were shaking. "I hate when that happens, you know? If only we could just cut it all the way off. It'd be so much simpler!" Of course that idea was ludicrous. But she felt like it may be a manly thing to say.

"Um," Nervously, she flitted toward her tent when he didn't respond, and continued to stare at her. "I gotta go. Clean up. I'll seeya…" Darting into the safe privacy of the canvas she quickly hurried to fix herself up properly. What a day. What a start to the day.

"Girl, you came sooo cloooose to blowing it…"

"Mushu," She glared at him as he slithered into the tent. "I could have used your help back there."

Mushu made a face. "Well it's not like he wouldn't have noticed if a dragon has climbed onto you to fix your hair!"

She sighed. He was right. That would have made it worse. Hopefully he could accept that it happened from time to time and that she had been as manly as she could think to be about it. As he did every morning, Mushu stuffed her with breakfast before they loaded up the tent and set Kahn up with the equipment wagon. They were nearing the Tung Shou pass, and Shang expected them to arrive at his father's camp within three days. As they marched, she felt Lao poke her in the back.

* * *

><p>"Looks like Pretty Boy did a numbuh on you," He commented, pointing to a pebble-sized bruise on Ping's cheek.<p>

Ping chuckled, and rubbed the spot. "Ah, you know. Nothing I couldn't fend off in my _sleep._"

Yao elbowed him suddenly and he glanced up to see Captain Li watching from nearby. He swallowed hard, but his superior just walked away with his arms folded calmly behind his back. Great. He'd come back to make sure they weren't horsing around and here he was, lying about whether he could take him in a fight.

The guys all jeered him on, and he let it go.

The last night before they reached the higher part of the mountains with snow, Ping waited for everyone to go to bed before hurrying with Khan to the nearest water in the hopes of bathing. He was stopped quickly when he realized the Captain had had the same idea, and he stared down into the water where his superior was just stepping into the water as the moon glowed down on him.

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><p>Mulan had seen plenty of <em>the guys<em> naked at this point. They had bathed together, albeit, briefly, since she usually distracted them and fled before one of them accidentally realized there were breasts nearby. But, in all that time, with flabby men and skinny men, old and young, she had never seen a man like him naked.

Shang's muscles seemed even bigger with the water dripping down them, and beyond that, he seemed so at peace there. Thankfully, he walked further in and hid his unmentionables before she could allow herself to stare at those. But it didn't change her fascination. She watched the way he floated and the gentle way he poured the water over himself.

If she didn't know better she'd have gone into that lake and started rubbing…

Aiyaa! Mulan nearly smacked herself when Shang glanced over and noticed her watching…and she wasn't even hiding her femininity at that point. Her hair was down and she had a cloth wrapped daintily around her little body to dry off with after her bath. And she was blushing, profusely at the fantasy she had almost escaped into.

But she'd been _spotted._ And she was going to die with no honor, smelling like an army brat.

"Hey!" She had taken off at full speed and dashed into her little tent. She whispered desperately for Mushu and fumbled for clothes, but didn't manage to find any to pull on fast enough. She had planned to clean those in the lake too, and they were in her bag, still strapped to Kahn. Her heart was pounding and her face was red with embarrassment and fear.

She was done for.

The tent came open just behind her and Shang grabbed her wrist, dragging her out. "No, please! Please stop, I can explain!"

"Be quiet, you'll wake Chi Fu," He warned her in an icy voice, and she obeyed. Preying he had some compassion in his heart for someone willing to do anything for their father. He lead her into his private tent and threw her down on the ground, and she struggled to keep the makeshift towel around her body.

"Would you care to explain now?" He marched to his sword even with the words coming from him, drawing it from it's sheath. "Because whether you do or not, I'm required to kill you."

"Please, Captain, you don't understand. My father is old, he's disabled. The last war brought him home with a bad leg. He would have died here and I…I needed to prove that I was good for something." She shook her head. "I won't strike a match in my village. I'm not…feminine. I'm not even pretty. I did this for my father. So he'd have something to be proud of."

"I don't think he'd be proud of his daughter dressing like a man and being executed by a high-ranking officer," His voice had clearly softened but his resolve seemed steady.

"You of all people should understand loyalty."

"Oh I do, I'm loyal to my Emperor."

"Aren't you loyal to your heart?"

"That's irrelevant," He seethed, lifting the sword. "I have no compassion for wanton people who ignore the law and do whatever they please!"

"Then why haven't you killed me yet?"

At that, his face fell. And slowly, over a few moments, his arms did too, and he dropped the sword at his side. Shaking his head he turned his back to her. "Over the past few weeks I've…felt things." Mulan's heart sped at this, but she dared not interrupt. "And I couldn't explain them. Because I felt them around you. When we'd fall against one another in training and when you'd sit and talk to me…"

"Shang, I…"

"I thought as though I had an infatuation with another man." Shang spat, glaring at her. "I felt as though you…I thought I was going to commit a sin worse than murder or adultery."

Mulan was quiet and at this point, had dropped her gaze. "But you didn't. And even if you had tried, it wouldn't have been so."

Shang watched her a moment and fell to his own knees, peering into her shamed face. "You have not told me what your real name is. Are you truly Fa Zhou's child?"

She nodded. "His only child. My name is Mulan."

"That's a strange name, for a child." She glared at him a moment, until she realized he was smiling to himself. "An orchid. Clearly your birth brought your father quite a bit of joy, despite your sex."

Mulan blushed a little. "My father has been doting, but I know he longed for a son, too. Heaven knows they tried. It just never happened." She wasn't sure what to say beyond that. But Shang wasn't finished.

"If you were to be discovered I wouldn't have any idea, you understand. I wouldn't be able to stay my hand." She nodded and Shang watched her closely. "Fa Mulan, you are crazy. But you are brilliant. You might have fooled anyone else. I hope you will." Their eyes met, and Shang stared into them without regret for the first time.

When he crossed over to sit beside her he heard her take in a tiny breath. He lifted his hand to brush his fingertips over her cheek, and pushed a few rogue hairs from the skin there. Mulan shivered, opening her almond shaped eyes to blink up into his face. Mulan had never been this close to a man. Let alone one without any sort of shirt on. His trousers were wet from hopping into them from out of the lake, and they brushed her thigh when he leaned in closer, pressing his forehead to hers.

"I feel relieved," He confessed gently. "To know that…this is not unnatural."

"Yes, I understand."

"Mulan," He tasted her name, and could almost smell the delicate flowers when he did. "Mulan, have you felt anything for me at all?"

She'd be a fool to tell him she hadn't. Although she had to admit, a lot of it was right there, in that moment with his eyes and his scent and the heat from his body. She was just too swamped with emotion to respond. And Shang wasn't terribly interested in hearing her response anyway. He cupped her jaw with two fingers as he pressed his lips gently to hers. At first, Mulan was still. But soon instinct guided her to slip her arms around his neck and lean up into the warm, sensual caress of his mouth, her mouth parting and closing around his in a dance that was unlike any other.

And it all flooded over her like rain on a starving field. The way she had watched him as a teacher and as time had progressed, as a friend. The way her heart had sped up whenever he had looked at her with curiosity in his eyes. She simply nodded as she kissed him, and Shang understood her. That was enough.

Slipping from sitting by her, Shang dropped to his arm and guided her to lie back. The towel nearly came open but held firm for the moment, and he tentatively traced his fingers down along the seam, where the slightest line of skin was available to his touch, which burned her worse than any fire could, and she moaned low in her throat. "Shang…"

He grunted at the breathy sound of his name and moved to lie over her. His elbows supported him as he cupped her face gingerly and kissed her lips again. Explored her mouth and let her explore his. Finally he sat up to press kisses down along the column of her throat and to her collar bone, where he nipped the skin gently, making her arch up into him. "Mulan," He whispered, gazing up into her face. "I want this so badly.."

She smiled, gasping for her breath. "But…"

"This could…this has it's consequences," He warned. "I don't want to take this moment from you if you're not prepared to be mine. Completely."

Mulan was suddenly overwhelmed. A few weeks ago the matchmaker had told her she'd never find a husband. Now a captain in the Chinese army was basically telling her that he wanted to get hitched in case she fell pregnant after the war. She wasn't sure she could just sign her life away like that, ironic as the thought was. But she knew that in the moment, she didn't think she'd survive ending the night there.

So she did the only thing she could really think to do. She pulled him back over her for a deep, hard kiss. Their teeth clinked she was so insistent, and Shang moaned with his desire. His large, calloused hands peeled the cover from her body and he broke the kiss to press small, swift kisses all over her, from her shoulders to the deepest place she knew existed in her.

Writhing with her need, she sat up as his fingers probed her womanhood, seeking any secrets it held. She had been determined to undress him completely, and his attention to her damp nub made her moan loudly and fall back again. Shang quickly covered her mouth with his, and shimmied out of his damp pants before he lay his body down over hers. For a moment he distracted her with slow, burning kisses and with his hands caressing her breasts. Causing delicious shivers in her that he hoped would distract her from the pain that he was going to cause her.

There was no need for warnings. They both knew what was coming, although, his attempts to distract and sooth her were working. Shang dropped one hand to adjust himself so he could slip in as smoothly as possible. And with his mouth on hers and as much loving care as he could think to show her past his own painful needs, he thrust past her innocence in a single movement. Beneath him her eyes shot wide open and she gave a cry that was muffled by his mouth, but she didn't fight against him.

After a moment of stillness, he pulled his head back to look at her. He had punched and kicked her, but had never felt more remorseful for causing her pain. "I know, I'm so sorry." He nuzzled into her neck. "Buck up, soldier. It'll go away." Another kiss to her lips and she was enchanted by the moment once again, wrapping her arms around him and giving into his own savage needs.

When he was sure she was okay, Shang thrust forward again. Slowly at first, but building up to an instinctual rhythm. Every time he moved inside of her his body was overcome with pleasure, and it only took a moment before he was gasping against the damp skin of her cheek. Mulan knew he wasn't going to last, and she stroked some sweaty hair from his face, her own expression serene. The pain was there, but it was dull, and the thrill of the moment was back. Shang bent his head to nibble her neck and she groaned, arching her body into his and murmuring his name.

And hearing her praise him sent him over, shuddering against her body with a few more thrusts as he spilled his seed into her. Mulan was very still, and pressed tender little kisses to his face as he came down from orgasm. They lie in one another's arms for a moment before he sat up a little to kiss her forehead. "I'm so glad you're not a man."

She laughed at that and looked up at him with tired eyes. "I'm so glad you didn't cut my head off." Shang smiled softly and gently withdrew from her before he moved away. Mulan quickly grabbed at her towel, which was stained red where she lad been lying on it. "I really need to go get that bath I was going to take." Especially now.

He nodded and pulled his pants on. "I'll come with you."

"Shang…"

"Hey, I probably need it more than you at this point. I did all the work."

Mulan had enough presence of mind to smack his arm before she dashed out to the lake, quickly followed by her lover, where they cleaned up and consummated their attraction to one another once again before retiring to their separate tents for the night, exhausted.


	2. Chapter 2

A Change to Grace

Chapter Two

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><p>"Hey uh, Ping? Don't take this the wrong way but…you look like hell."<p>

Blinking up at the voice, Ping smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh I uh, Yao. I…didn't sleep much last night. I had a nightmare." Glancing up to the front of the procession, his eyes caught on General Li's, and they stared at one another. There was something in his commanding officer's gaze. Something unusual. It was almost like a little sparkly twinkle…It took a moment to process but finally, the cadet read it as humor. He smiled. "About my um, about this girl I know…"

"Ooooh." Ling made a purposefully rotten looking face. "Sounds like one of _those_ girls."

"I hate dem kinda girls," Yao spat, clenching his fists. Chien Po put his big, gentle hands on his friend's shoulders. And Yao instantly deflated. They had spent the afternoon describing their dream women, and Yao had already gone off about what he hated out of a lady, which included every quality Ping had put forward aside from "breasts".

"Easy, Yao. They aren't here. Just chant if you don't feel very happy."

"That'd take a lotta chantin'," Yao muttered, relaxing his body so that Chien Po would let him get off easily. Ping was fascinated by the way they seemed to be each other's yin and yang. Total opposites that complemented one another, made one another stronger. More whole. Again, he was drawn to his commanding officer, whose back was to him now as he halted the march and scanned the area. Yao looked between his three buds, and the boss, and Ping sensed something from everyone.

Fear.

The ranks dissolved as they stood there peering over one another, so Ping strode up to stand nearer to the Captain. In front of them, was a village. Rather, what was left of a village. And unknown to the men except for Chi Fu and Shang, it was the very village that General Li had gone to protect ahead of the Hun's arrival there. Charred, and still burning as a freezing wind blew all about.

"Search for survivors," Shang ordered, riding ahead to do the same. Ping took up the first house to his left. There wasn't really a house there, just some burning framework and a few knick knacks. On the snow, with her raven hair blowing in the breeze, was a small doll. Ping bent to pick it up and stared at it for a moment, and suddenly, the world seemed to stop for a moment.

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><p>Mulan had had a doll very much like this as a child. One Fa Li had made for her. She was sure, even, that if she were to look, she'd find it among her things. What with the previous night's events, and Mulan's sudden leap from hiding her secret, to becoming a woman and suddenly hiding her love affair with her captain, it was a stabbing reminder that just days ago, she had still been a beloved child in her family's eyes. Fa Li had sent her to the Matchmaker with tears in her eyes and Fa Zhou had coddled her over her failure to strike a match. Someone had loved this little girl enough to make her this doll. Somewhere nearby, their bodies were disintegrating.<p>

Clutching the doll to her chest, she only partially noticed when Captain Li dismounted his horse and approached. She glanced up at him with sad eyes and noted the worry in his own. "I don't understand," He told her. "My father should have been here." She dropped one of her hands and touched his gentle and without thought, Shang wrapped her fingers tightly in his own. That was, until Chi Fu called loudly for him across the empty solace he was seeking with her.

Shang was quick to look out over the hill the other man was indicating and his jaw dropped. Bodies. Hundreds of them, if not thousands. Mulan felt her stomach go sour but before she could selfishly get sick, she was struck by the sight of a few moving figures. "Captain!"

* * *

><p>Ping went running into the mass grave and Shang felt his heart leap in his chest, knowing any of the Huns could still be in there. "FA PING! GET BACK HERE!" When the boy didn't listen, he growled his anger and took off after him. It didn't take long to see what had gotten him so excited. There in the snow, he saw some of the Imperial soldiers and then he saw his father, the General, still alive. "Father.." He ducked to his knees next to him and touched his hands, which were bloody, and covering some sort of wound on his belly. "What…?"<p>

General Li gasped. "It…was an ambush…"

Shang glared at some unseen enemy and shook his head. "Fa Ping, go and send for the medic, then come back with towels. Make sure they're warm and damp." Shang immediately began to see to tending to his father's wound and Ping set off straight away to send one of the other men to find the doctor that was camped a short way down the mountain. Some of the other men had begun a kettle, but the water was not heating up over the tiny flames, so Ping grabbed the kettle, despite getting yelled at and darted to one of the houses.

He held it over the crackling flamed that were devouring the wood and after a few moments, dumped several towels in the water. When he fished them out, they were hot, too hot, so Ping packed them with a small amount of snow and hurried back to the captain and general. The snow should help numb his pain anyway, and when Shang took the towels, he nodded to Ping gratefully. "Stay here, I might need your help." He told him almost too gently.

After a short while, the bleeding was controlled. The doctor arrived and tended to the general more thoroughly, and Shang argued with Chi Fu over what to do next as the men sat by the fire and ate in silence. After a short while, Shang strode from the tent with a flustered looking Chi Fu behind him. "Gentlemen, we leave at dawn for the Imperial City. It seems as though the enemy has gotten the upper hand this time. But losing the battle does not equal to losing the war."

Several men cheered, and Ping choked back his rice to join them before watching Shang disappear into the medical tent. He finished his food and bid the guys a good night, exhausted from the day's events, and thoroughly depressed (although he dared not share as much with his colleagues).

* * *

><p>Mulan had been asleep for a few hours when it became warm. She had become well accustomed to sleeping while cold at that point, but warmth was something entirely different to her. Opening her eyes with a yawn she nearly squealed when she realized the added warmth was coming from Shang, laying over her body, nibbling at her ear. He caught her, his finger over her lips very gently as he nipped at the tender skin. "Sorry I woke you. I just couldn't resist you, seeing the way you looked just the." He released her mouth to claim a kiss from her, and stars flew around her head as she returned it. Mulan had imagined what kissing would be like, and Shang made it seem like it was out of this or any other world.<p>

Their mouths broke apart but their faces remained pressed together. "Mmmm, how did I look? Embarrassing?"

"Serene," He answered softly, nuzzling his nose to hers. "You looked like there was no war at all. You looked like you were asleep in your own bed."

Mulan instantly felt shame bubble up in her belly. "I'm so sorry, I…"

"Mulan," He breathed her name tenderly, then whispered it with a heat that she was still beginning to learn. "_Mulan, _you darling, naïve girl. How is it you can be such a brave man by day and such a sweet girl by night?"

She blushed at that. "I suppose I have a lot to learn about men still."

"I'm not angry with you. I need that. That serenity. I need some of that right now or I'm not…I don't know if I can be in charge by myself when I'm not sure I should have this job." His mouth moved to nibble at her jaw and she groaned, gently pushing him away.

"What are you talking about? You're an incredible captain…"

"Chi Fu doesn't think so." His head hung so she couldn't see his face, and so she tilted it up by his chin make him look at her.

"Well, I know so, Shang. I do."

He smiled up into her face and scooted to kiss her mouth again. Cupped her cheek in his hand and nibbled teasingly against her lips until they parted so he could explore her. Taste her. Drink her in. She melted beneath him and after a moment, he broke the kiss and buries his face in her neck. "Mulan, I want you."

"Take me."

"No, I mean, beyond this. Beyond here. And tonight. I want to talk to my father about seeking your parents' blessings."

Mulan let out a short breath, her fingertips touching his face as she stared up into his eyes. "Shang I.." His eyes lit up hopefully. "I would want that more than anything. But I…you hardly know me. Real me."

He smiled at her, almost bitter sweetly. "I'm sure there are plenty of nights ahead for that. Besides. Marrying for love is a rare enough feat. We're a good match traditionally. Strong military backgrounds. Our fathers knew one another in the army…"

"They did?"

He nodded and saw her relax considerably beneath him. But he knew she wouldn't be so easily sideswept with tradition. He kissed her lips again, slower, deeper. Sucked the breath right out of her lungs and then took her hand to cover his chest so she could feel his heart pounding there. "Do you feel that?" She nodded, dazed and he smiled. "Last night I swore our hearts were in synch."

"I know they were."

Brushing her hair out of her face he dropped her hand and touched her own heart. "I think they always have been." He saw her eyes gloss a bit and they met in a more passionate kiss as he guided her to lay back against her makeshift bed. Unseen, Mushu was trying to work his way out of the tent as silently as he could with his eyes covered, and Cri-Kee was unsuccessfully guiding the way. But the two lovers were oblivious, and overwhelmed by their passion just then.

Shang quickly disrobed her and set to spreading sizzling kisses across her body, from her throat to her breasts, and then down the narrow strip of soft skin on her belly to her womanhood. She tensed a little, instinctively, but relaxed when he touched her skin and the pain from the previous night was almost completely gone. She was still tender, but she did not betray that to him. Shang busily kissed her mound and tentatively wriggled his tongue across her most sensitive bundle of nerves, sending her into waves of pleasure.

Exploring further, Shang inserter his finger into her very slowly, making sure she was all right as he went. He had heard his share of stories, in the army, of how to please a woman. He knew that that sort of thing was complicated and that the pain of her virginity would outweigh any real pleasure, but now that that mess was taken care of, he set to work to make her feel as good as she had made him feel. Slowly pumping his finger, he swirled his tongue against the bundle again and moved a little harder and faster on both halves. It was only a minute or two before Mulan came crashing down, shaking her hips a little, bucking into his touch as she tightened around him briefly. And just like that she was a little bit slicker, and more ready for him again.

Shang stripped and moved over her again, bending to kiss her. At first she made a face against him but it didn't last long. She succumbed to the soft, sweet seduction of his lips. "Mulan," He whispered, brushing a thumb across her nipple. "I have wanted this all day."

She smiled at him, still shaken from orgasm. "To dominate me in the most basic way possible?"

He shook his head, his eyes softening from their darkened state as he slipped between her legs. "No, silly girl. To make love to you." Their eyes met and Mulan's heart began to pound in her chest as she became overwhelmed with a strange emotion that she had never felt before. It was forgotten, however, when Shang entered her in one smooth thrust, and her belly began to tingle fiercely, causing her to throw back her head and bite her lip to stifle a moan. Shang bent to nip at her lip, and steadied himself past shaky joints before he started to move forward.

For a moment, he held her gaze. Saw the way her cheeks deepened into a warm coral color, and the way her eyes fluttered when he moved just right. Her lips were parted but she was silent, afraid to make any noise that was all too feminine. Bending to press kisses to her throat, one of his hand's drifted to caress her belly near where they were joined. To his surprise, and delight, it made her buck up against him, and he groaned at the flash of sensation that tickled over his skin.

She let out a little whine and Shang quickly forgot about savoring the moment, and began to thrust harder against her. Swallowed the sounds she was trying not to make with a burning kiss, and dropped his hand all the lower to stroke at her womanhood. Suddenly it was like the tent was filled with fireworks. Mulan gasped against his mouth and shuddered violently beneath him, and he would have thought she was in pain until he realized she was clenching around him as she had his hand before. His thrusts became rough as he struggled to maintain control, but his body won out in the end. He spilled into her with a shudder of his own, and for a long series of moments he just clung to her, his face buried in her neck, and his fingers embedded in the dirt on the sides of her shoulders.

When their bodies became still, Mulan closed her eyes and listened to the synchronized beating of their hearts, her own fluttering at the realization, and Shang laughed. He seemed to be able to read her mind and she opened her eyes when she felt him kiss her forehead. "Fa Mulan," She smiled up at his use of her proper name. "If we survive this war. If you'll have me. It would bring me great honor for you to become my bride."

Mulan pretended to be thoughtful and Shang groaned, dropping several kisses along her jaw. She giggled. "If we survive this war, I'll marry you the day we present the Emperor with Shan Yu's sword." She promised, leaning to kiss his own face. For a moment, Shang stared down at her silently, he seemed to be trying to read her face. To understand her better. To see if she was being honest, and when he realized she wasn't just being wicked, he bent and pressed a smoldering kiss to her mouth.

"I will make you very, very happy. I promise you."

"I do not doubt that," She reached to stroke his face. "Is there any excuse we can use for you to sleep in Ping's tent, Captain?"

His face soured slightly and he shook his head. "No. But I'll see you first thing in the morning. Perhaps before the others are up." A few smaller kisses. Mulan laughed.

"Hardly a kind way to greet a soldier before the sun."

"Perhaps not, but a very kind way to greet my fiancee." He purred, before he stood up from her to dress. "Will you come to me if you're awake before dawn?"

She nodded, pulling on some of her own clothing in case anyone should happen to poke their head into the tent. "I may even do it with a smile. Although I make no guarantees." They smiled at one another and Shang slipped out into the night. A gust of cold blew into the tent and Mulan shivered, wishing to the gods that she could have kept him in there at least as a heat source. Somehow she doubted that the heat he had given off would fade anytime soon, even without him there.


	3. Chapter 3

A Change to Grace

Chapter Three

* * *

><p>Ping wasn't sure how he had gotten to that point. Shang was yelling at someone, people were buzzing about, and he was in pain. His hands clamped on his side, he gasped in agony as blood trickled through his fingers. One moment he was a hero, shooting the rocket to cause the avalanche, destroying what was left of the Hun army, the next….Shan Yu was enraged. Ping had taken the slice with a grain of salt and still found time to save his Captain before collapsing into the snow.<p>

They were calling the medic. Ping was going to be found out, and that meant Ping was done for. Shang's eyes were wild, afraid, concerned. Suddenly General Li was bent over him, studying the wound. "This boy is a hero. See to it that the medic does hurry, I would hate for him to be awarded for his acts posthumously."

The snow stopped being cold at one point, and he said a prayer to his ancestors. This surely was death. At least as he died he did so with honor. Glancing to Shang one last time, seeing agony on his face, Ping smile up at him, as if to try and make him feel better. The world went black, and the last thing Ping consciously remembered, before he died, was the sound of Shang yelling for Yao to hurry up in retrieving medical aid for their friend.

* * *

><p>Mulan blinked awake in the tent a long while later. She was hot, the area was stuffy and so, she kicked the blanket down a bit. A noise in the corner alerter her to someone else's presence, and she nearly pulled the blanket back when she realized…this was not Ping's tent. It was the medical tent. And glancing into the corner, she saw Shang, Chi Fu and General Li. Shang's eyes were cast down to the ground, and Chi Fu was busily scribbling with a scowl. The general, still somewhat weak, was watching her closely, his fingers stroking his chin thoughtfully.<p>

"So, Fa Mulan. How do you feel?"

Startled by the casual question she tugged at her bedding to cover herself again. "What's going on…why am I alive?"

"Because," Chi Fu's voice dripped with contempt as he glared at up her from where he was standing. "The Captain said that you saved his life and so, he saved yours."

"Would you lose that tone, Chi Fu?" The General's eyes narrowed in the Emperor's council's presence. "The girl saved _China_. We will take her to the Emperor and I am sure that he will pardon her for what she has done. Besides. My conscription notices said _able bodied men_. Fa Zhou should have been excluded. Instead, you forced this child to pose as a man to protect her father."

"That's the only reason I did it," Mulan choked past fear, and her superior officers nodded in unison.

"Your father was a great soldier, Fa Mulan. He saved me from death twice in our time. I am grateful to you for saving my only boy," The General clapped Shang on his shoulder and only then did he look up at Mulan. His face was calm, but his eyes seemed to dance with victory, and that was enough for her.

"I am very sorry for deceiving you, Captain." She apologized, ducking her gaze. "And for dishonoring the army with my actions."

Shang remained silent, obediently so. The General moved to the flap of the tent. "We live for the Imperial City in three hours time. Rest for now. The journey will probably be tiresome for you." He left with a rustle of the material, and Chi Fu's eyes studied the young woman before he sneered.

"I hope the Emperor has your head on the spot. Blasphemous woman."

"That's enough," Shang snapped, ushering the nuisance out before returning. He was silent for a moment and then glanced up at her. "You were touch and go, I was…very concerned." He sighed, clearly troubled, before he went to sit near her. She didn't press him, since he rarely was the type to discuss his personal feelings. Instead she watched him. "But my father is convinced that you'll be fine, once we get you to the Emperor. Despite everything you did…you were very brave out there."

"Are you angry with me?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Then what's wrong?"

He gazed at the side of the tent for a moment before he answered. "It's just that…I'm very…traditional." She blinked and he grimaced. "I know, I wasn't…you wouldn't have known. And I wasn't really…referring to that. But while I know you're of great use as a soldier, I believe your place would be in the home." Mulan remained calm, and listened intently. "And then my family…I have a big family. A scary family. And the more I think about it, the more worried I become…"

"I won't fit in there."

"That doesn't bother me so much, I don't either." That surprised her and he knew it would. Their eyes met and he smiled. "My family strongly believes in our place in the military. I have family in the palace as well. They all think I should lead this country's armed forces some day and the more I learn, the more I want to just be a normal man."

Her heart ached for him, but she just nodded. "I'd love to be a traditional woman."

"I wouldn't have you that way, as much as that pains me." He admitted with a soft smile. Mulan couldn't help but to beam. "All I'm saying, Mulan, is it won't be as simple as asking for the Emperor's blessing." He reached to touch her face ever so lightly. "Plus…we have to pretend that we're meeting as man and woman today. It can't be too fast."

She nodded, smoothing the sheets over her lap. "Well I'm not in any hurry."

His interest was piqued, signaled by his brow lifting high onto his forehead. "No?"

She shook her head. "No."

"And…if you were to discover you were with child?"

Mulan's face fell and she crossed her arms. "Well for my sake I hope it doesn't take that long for your family to accept me. But all in all, I'm hoping that won't happen for a good long while."

It was Shang's turn to grimace. "I would very much like children."

"I don't dislike them," She said softly, dropping her gaze shyly. She realized she was at an age where childbearing was a natural part of life, but she resented the fact that she would have to give just about everything she loved about life in order to do that. "I'd give you children if I were your wife. I'm saying..I hope we don't conceive out of wedlock. I've heard tell of some severe punishments."

He nodded his understanding and sighed. "I better round everyone up. I'll be back in a bit to wake you." He looked all around before stealing a light kiss.

Mulan sighed as he left. All this talk of marriage and children, and aside from their heated meetings in one another's tents, she had no idea what it was that Shang really felt for her. Shang was unlike anyone she had met. He was kind to her, affectionate even, yet he never confessed that he truly had feelings for her. It was one of the reasons she was unsure about whether or not she wanted to marry him. She could easily say she had fallen in love, she wasn't sure Shang could.

And now he seemed to even be brushing talk of marriage aside. She shook her head and tried to settle in to sleep, despite the persistent buzz of butterflies in her belly. They needed to make their minds up. Home was not far away, and she needed some sort of resolve after all of this.

* * *

><p>General Li was studying his son intently, wriggling his nose past a ticklish sensation. An itch, even. "If I am to understand you correctly, son, you're asking my opinion on you're taking Fa Mulan as your bride?" His son nodded nervously, even swallowed hard and suddenly, the general broke into a joyous smile. "Son, I am delighted. She would make a fine wife with her heritage."<p>

Shang felt relief cool his bubbling blood. "I find her appealing, father. She is pleasing to the eye as well, and she seems…" He paused. "She seems like a good girl."

The general sighed. "Now we must only convince the others," He scoffed, taking a drink from the wine that a cadet had just brought. "Son, even after all of these years married, I do not understand why woman must be so picky. Perhaps you will grow to understand this in your marriage, and then you can share with the rest of us."

Shang laughed at that, something that was rare enough for him. "I don't know if men will ever truly have any understanding of women."

"You can say dat again," Yao grumbled, storming up to the pair with a half-hearted bow. "Camp is all packed up an' ready to go."

Shang sighed. "Well that can't be possible, I haven't even gone to wake up Fa Mulan yet."

Yao blinked up at his superior and suddenly grew nervous. "Uh, sir, your…you….We packed up medical too, Chi Fu rode her off not a hour ago." He was glad for his short stature then, because with the look storming into Shang's eyes, he was sure he'd have gotten a mouthful of his fist.

"What!" Shang darted to where the medical tent had been, and then whistled for his horse. General Li was right on his heels. "He's going to have her sentenced to death, he's not even going to tell the Emperor what she did for me…" The General surprised his son by climbing on the back of the horse. "Father? I can retrieve her myself?"

"It's too late for that, Shang, the city isn't far from here, Chi Fu has undoubtedly arrived. We'll both need to speak with the Emperor in order for this to work out the way we'd like." Shang made orders for the men to follow and sent the horse off. He almost dug his heels too deep into the poor animal, imagining the rosey color of Mulan's face when they made love, and the wideness of her eyes when she had been Ping, cut open and collapsing to the earth.

She did not deserve to die.

They rode into the city in time to see the Emperor seated in his chair. People were filling the public area, and Shang's heart leapt in his chest when he saw Mulan laying on the platform, still sleepy from the opium they had given her. He was up on the stairs first with his father shouting behind him. "Your majesty, the Captain and I wish to speak with you at once."

The Emperor did not signal his guards to come, and instead, watched the General approach, before dropping his gaze to Shang, who was bent over Mulan, checking that she was breathing before he scooped her up into his arms. "Gentlemen, Chi Fu has already informed me of this treachery," But he watched Shang still, and swore he saw loving concern in the younger man's face. A realization that brought him joy, considering that the child was far too serious.

The General bowed before his feet and then looked up at him. "Excellence, it is true. She deceived us, she wore Fa Zhou's armor and pretended to be a man, but she also showed bravery and skill. She destroyed the Hun army with a single cannon and then she saved my son's life. She was granted a stay in execution because of that and we'd like for her to be pardoned."

The Emperor listened to everything and clasped his hands together in prayer. Considering all that had happened, he nodded to the General. "I will approve your request, nephew." Shang sighed with relief and stood with Mulan in his arms. "Captain, why don't you go lay her down in one of my rooms? I will have a nurse attend to her while she is still groggy." Shang bowed politely and took Mulan inside to obey, and the Emperor looked at his General. "The boy seems quite taken. I am pleased."

"I'm glad," The General bowed once again. "Shang has requested to marry her. It would honor us greatly for your blessing, Uncle."

"Then you shall have it," He told him, but held a finger up to signal he had more to say. "Now tell me everything that happened. We will feast in the young lady's honor tonight, and your son can have his chance to ask her hand then."

Before the general could recount the tale, the squawk of a bird caught their attention, and they both glanced up at the sky in time for everything to go black.

* * *

><p>"Nooo!" Mulan shot up in the bed and immediately grunted in pain, touching her tender stomach through the dress she was wearing. She blinked and glanced around, unsure of where she was once again. The room was lavish, the bed was big, and sumptuous, and she had never been more comfortable in her life. The Imperial Palace. Mulan gasped and hurried from the tangled covers, and nearly fell flat on her face. "Aiyaa," She whispered, hurrying to the door. No sooner was she up than a commotion began out in the hall, and Mulan peaked out of the door.<p>

"The palace is taken! The Huns are alive!"

She gasped again when she heard that, and immediately her thoughts strayed to Shang and his safety. She saw her armor sitting nearby and hurried to grab her sword, sliding it into the sash on her hip before dashing out through the crowd of people who were running to leave. Out on the outdoor platform was the General, and Mulan rushed to his aid. He was alive, merely unconscious. Just as she began to fret over what to do with him, Yao and Ling ran up to her.

"You're awake!"

"What happened!" She grabbed one of the generals arms and Yao grabbed the other and together they dragged him indoors.

"Shan Yu and a few of his boys survived."

"Where's Shang?"

"We're not sure." As soon as the General was safe, Mulan drew her sword and lead the others down the hall, searching through rooms as they went. Suddenly, Chien Po rounded the corner ahead of them, and right behind him, Shang perked at the sight of her, his resolve melting into relief as they rushed to meet the others.

"Mulan, why did you leave your room?" He looked her over to make sure she was all right, and barely restrained himself from grabbing her and embracing her tightly.

"I heard the Huns were alive and I was worried…" She cleared her throat in front of the others. "I thought you might need help. I couldn't just lie there."

"They have the Emperor locked upstairs with Shan Yu. I need to find my father and then we'll figure out a plan."

"Uh," Mulan rubbed the back of her neck, and Shang was struck by it. He had seen Ping do it a thousand times, but never her. "He's safe. He's just….out. We don't have time to come up with a strategy," She looked over at the three soldiers and her face broke into a smile. "But I do have an idea…fellas. Let's find the seamstress' room. We need to give you all a disguise."

* * *

><p>Once Shan Yu's guards were out of the way, thanks to a few "ugly concubines", Mulan and said concubines evacuated the Emperor while Shang took on Shan Yu. But it wasn't long until the Hun had the upper hand, and so Mulan cut down his only means to the Emperor before revealing herself as the soldier who had blasted the mountain with a canon. Enraged, Shan Yu took the bait, and Mulan lead him on a wild goose chase through the palace.<p>

As he was getting onto his feet, dizzy and nauseous from the blow Shan Yu had given him, Shang could see his father approaching with a concerned expression. "Son, son, are you okay? Where is Shan Yu?"

"Mulan," He gasped out, leaving the General no choice but to help him walk out of the palace. No sooner had they then Mulan came swinging down off the roof and a huge set of fireworks went off, igniting one of the palace wings, and blowing Shan Yu to bits. She hit the stone ground with a grunt, and clutched her wound. She hoped this was the last of battle that she would see before she was healed.

Shang and the General both helped her to her feet and suddenly Chi Fu was marching down the steps with purpose. "That was a deliberate attempt on my life! Where is she? Now she's done it! What a MESS!" He reached the group standing there, where Yao and Ling and Chien Po all helped Shang crowd Mulan to protect her from the sizzling man. "Stand ASIDE! That creature is not worth protecting!"

Shang pointed back at her. "She's a _hero._"

"She's a woman!" Chi Fu cried incredulously, and Mulan's gaze dropped. He was right. She could save all of China a thousand times, that didn't change the fact that she was just a woman. "She'll never be worth anything."

The General had to run for Shang when he grabbed Chi Fu by the collar. "Listen you POMPOUS…"

"THAT is _enough."_ The Emperor was walking down the steps with Grace Mulan had never seen a man possess, and her heart jumped into her throat. He looked angry. Very angry. He would probably force the general to decapitate her on the spot.

Shang still tried to protect her, and her heart swelled a little with love. "Your Majesty, let me explain.."

The Emperor, however, would not have it. He held up his hand, and Shang was silent. The group moved away to expose her, she stepped forward and bowed to him, and immediately, her eyes hit the floor. "I've heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan. You stole your father's armor, ran away from home. Impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Chinese army…" At that, Mulan flinched. She was going to get it. Right then. Right there, in front of hundreds of people. "DESTROYED my palace AND…." Here it came. She waited for death, she welcomed it. At least her family and others in China, at least Shang, would be safe. "You have saved us all." Blinking, she lifted her head.

There was a soft smile on the Emperor's face and their eyes met briefly before he bowed half over. ChiFu fumbled to throw himself to his knees, and Mulan was shocked when the General, her Captain and comrades, as well as the entire gathering followed suit. Her heart pounding as she twirled, looking at all of the people, she felt tears trickle down her face. All of those weeks of hard work, agony, sadness, and fear. All of it summed up with the greatest honor a woman could ever hope for.

They stood upright after a brief moment and the Emperor looked at Chi Fu. "See to it that Lieutenant Fa is treated as she deserves," He smiled at her. "She will always have her place in my armed forces."

"Oh your majesty I…" She was going to decline the offer, tell him it wasn't necessary but that would be terribly rude, and Mulan couldn't pretend not to be thrilled at the prospect of anything but an ordinary life. "Thank you." She forgot herself a moment and hugged him, and he smiled, patting her head like a doting father.

"We will still feast in your honor tonight, Lieutenant. Tomorrow you will return to your home. Take this," He slipped his crest off. "So your family will know what you have done for me. And this," He presented her with Shan Yu's sword gingerly. "So the world will know what you have done for China."

Mulan was in tears, and she still smiled at him before darting inside. Chi Fu followed to set to his new purpose, keeping her happy. Shang watched with an ache in his chest and a smile on his face. The Emperor saw this, and approached him. "You know, great nephew, in this day and age, not many people find love before they are married." He adjusted his robes. "And the flower that blooms in adversity, is the most rare and beautiful."

Shang nodded with a smile. "Great Uncle?"

"You don't meet a girl like that every Dynasty," He clarified, popping his little hat on with that grace that had stunned Mulan before. "You have my blessing to be married. So long as her father agrees."

Shang stared at him in stunned silence before he shook his head, watching the Emperor go inside. He decided it was as good of a time as ever to do the same. After all, Mulan's banquet was going to be a night that he hoped they both remembered.

* * *

><p>Mulan silently ached for her mother as she got ready. It had been too long since Fa Li had primped her up, and she found applying the thick makeup was more difficult than she would have expected. But somehow she got it right and now, dressed in a cerulean gown with her hair piled up in a plain little comb, she smiled softly at her reflection. Makeup and all, she had never been so at peace with herself. After all, she was a woman in love, and now, she was a lieutenant in the Emperor's army.<p>

She was lead to the hall, where a prayer was said and everyone began to eat and drink. And talk. Mulan had never been forced to chat with so many strangers in her life, but she found it easy, and enjoyable, to answer questions about her time on the battlefield. She found she had been talking about it for hours when Shang found her, finishing off her third glass of wine. He shook his head and lead her to dance, delighting in the sound of her laugh as he held her close.

"Oh Shang. This turned out so much better than I thought it would have. I told you you were a great captain." She pressed her cheek to his broad chest and Shang's heart began to pound as he realized there was no greater time than the present. Stepping back, the dancing stopped and Mulan stared up at him like she were afraid she had done something wrong.

Shang cleared his throat, trying to pretend all eyes weren't on him. "When I set out for this war, I expected to win and to be proud…but I never…I didn't expect you to come along. Like you did." He glanced at the Emperor who nodded to him, signaling he was doing just fine. "Fa Mulan, I…you changed something in me. And I am indebted to you for it." He brushed her cheek with his fingers, and smiled down into her wide eyes. She was a child again, like she had been when he had first been with her. A child and, somehow, very much a woman. "I love you, Mulan." And suddenly her big, dark eyes were filled with tears of joy. "And I don't want to ever live a moment without you from this day on."

It was rare for a couple to set up an engagement on their own, but Shang knew exactly what people did on those rare occasions. He dropped to his knee and took both of her hands into his, and there was a collective gasp in the room. "Would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"

Some of her tears fell to the floor but Mulan's face was all smiles. "Yes, Captain. It would bring me great honor to be your wife."

Everyone in the room applauded and somewhere nearby, Mulan could hear Mushu sobbing like a woman. Shang stood and scooped her up in his arms, spinning for a moment, until they were too dizzy to keep going. They kissed, softly, but sweetly, and the applause got louder, followed by a few whistles. Shang immediately blushed crimson, and Mulan matched in her own shade of pink before he set her down and they grasped one another's hands.

The General approached and bowed his head gently. "You will be most welcome in our family, Fa Mulan."

"Sir please, just Mulan." She told him softly, but she smiled at him, then up at his son. "I look forward to being a part of it." She glanced to the general once again. "Did you want to come tomorrow? I'm certain my father would be more than happy to host you in his home. Especially with such joyous news for us to share."

Shang and his father exchanged grins and the older man nodded. "It would be an honor to join you, Mulan."


	4. Chapter 4

A Change to Grace

Chapter Four

* * *

><p>Mulan, Shang, the General and the soldier trio woke early the next day to set off for Mulan's sleepy little farming village. Despite a slight headache and briefly sour stomach, Mulan was anxious to return home. She missed her Baba and her mother and grandmother. Shang was quiet as they rode, contemplative, even, but when he saw her watching him he smiled at her and reached over to grab her hand briefly, and it all felt genuine. Mulan was on top of the world. In her saddlebag Mushu was choking back sobs at the scene and she could hear Cri-Kee chirping excitedly.<p>

The sun warmed her and sent her sickly feelings off. Blossoms had begun to fall from trees, and their sweet scent blanketed the roads as they approached her childhood home. Mulan looked forward to seeing her parents' Magnolia, and how the misfit blossom had grown up. As soon as the gates appeared, Khan sped up into a gallop, and Mulan laughed. She heard the others frantically switch as well behind her, and a few moments later, Khan burst through the gates of the family farm. Fa Li and Grandma Fa were outside, tending to the laundry, and they both jumped with fright.

"Mulan!" Just as she was dismounting, Fa Li began to run over to her, scooping her only child up into her arms. "Oh you stupid girl, we were so worried for you!"

"I'm sorry, Mama." They held onto one another tightly. Li stroked her daughter's hair a moment before pulling back and gazing into her face. "There's something very different about you, dear girl. You've really grown."

"Uhhh…" Suddenly nervous that her mother could see what she had done with Shang just by looking at her, Mulan darted to hug her grandmother. "It might be the hair too, Mama." She and the old woman embraced tenderly and then she looked at her. "Where is Baba?"

"His bench," Grandma Fa replied, motioning back with her thumb. Mulan scooped up Shan Yu's sword and with a dreep breath, took off toward her and her father's spot in the garden. Her mother and grandmother slowly followed after and watched father and daughter embrace lovingly. Fa Li sighed happily but Grandma Fa shook her head.

"Great, she brought home a sword. If you ask me, she should have brought home a man…."

"Excuse me," Shang's voice startled them and they both turned to look at him at once. Fa Li's mouth fell open at the sight of the handsome soldier, and the older one approaching behind him. "I didn't mean to frighten you…"

"Li Jian!"

Shang blinked, and laughed when his father moved to bow to the woman, having forgotten his father's acquaintance with the Fa's. The general smiled pleasantly. "Hello, Fa Li, it's been many many years."

She nodded, bowing in return. "Since before Mulan was born," She responded, glancing at Shang. "Li Shang, I haven't seen you since…you were a very small boy."

That surprised him and he bowed politely to her. "It is an honor to meet such an old friend to my father." Just as he was standing upright, Mulan and Fa Zhou slowly moved into the courtyard from the garden. Both had dried tears on their faces, but Fa Zhou was beaming proudly, at least until he saw Li Jiang standing in his yard, chatting with his wife.

Immediately they bowed to one another before they hugged, laughing like old friends do after a long time. "Zhou, I was just marveling at how well put together Li still is, and look at you. Walking around like a grandfather already!"

"Jiang, if you were constantly surrounded by women, you'd need the cane too," He retorted and they laughed heartily. "What brings you here?"

"Shang seems to have found something of yours," Jiang responded, motioning toward Mulan. "We thought we would return her in one piece." He cleared his throat, glancing at Shang with a suggestive expression. Suddenly, Shang stumbled for words.

"Oh. Uh. Honorable Fa Zhou I…Haven't known your daughter for very long. That is, not as a woman…"

"Oh my…" Fa Li took a seat and fanned herself, trying not to burst into tears at what the young man was clearly about to ask.

"But…I have quickly found a soft place in my heart for her. With your permission, we'd like to be married." The terrible burden of finding the words to say was over, but now there was a knot of anticipation in Shang's stomach. He had faced all sorts of failures as a soldier, this was a failure he wasn't sure he could bravely face.

But just as he began to dread Zhou's possible rejection, Mulan was there. All strength and warmth, and her fingers enclosed his. He dropped his gaze from her father, surprised that she would step in…but then again, perhaps he was not. His mouth curved into a smile and they gazed at one another for a moment.

Seeing the looks in their eyes, Zhou smiled kindly at the young couple. "Captain Shang," The younger man looked up at him and he nodded to him respectfully. "You have my blessing."

At that, Mulan and Shang embraced tightly and Fa Li sniffled past her tears. Fa Zhou sat next to her, putting his arms around her shoulders. "When one's heart is filled with joy, some may spill from the eyes," She smiled up at him and Grandma was running all over the place figuring out how to accommodate guests and the like.

"Actually," Jiang spoke up. "When I spoke with the Emperor and his Council this morning there was concern for a few Mongols at large. He'd like us to set out to eliminate them as soon as possible and he'd like for Mulan to come along. " He's granted us a few days, but we're to return to the city by the week's end."

"Then it will be small," Fa Zhou agreed.

"I can certainly live with that," Shang said with a little smile, earning a light, playful smack from Mulan.

Fa Li finally composed herself enough to stand, and smiled at her daughter. "Well come along, child. It seems to me we have some errands to run in town."

* * *

><p>At dawn the next day, Mulan woke in time to bathe in a special bath concocted by the same lady who had prepared her for her day with the Matchmaker. But it went much better that day. It was warm, and fragrant, and Mulan felt truly refreshed afterwards. Her hair was dressed like a married woman's, and she was fitted with the traditional red veil by her great Aunt, who had been married for nearly 15 years and had seven children with her husband.<p>

She dressed in the traditional red and went to pray briefly in the family temple, before bowing to her parents and waiting for the bridal procession in silence. It arrived shortly thereafter, and, with her heart thudding in her chest, Mulan was helped into the red chair. She hadn't gotten to see Shang, in his own chair, hidden away from curious eyes but something about the group of boys chasing after his chair made her smile. She knew deep down that he would be a wonderful father.

It wasn't a terribly long journey, but it was out of town, and so, it was tiresome, especially with her nerves so high. She nearly dozed off once or twice, but in fear of causing any sort of bad omen, she kept herself awake. They arrived at the Li home and she waited for the curtain to be moved on the chair before she was helped to step onto a red mat, and guided to walk over a little lit stove. She was especially nervous then, despite having fought a war as a man before, but then, it was over. And there was Shang. Dressed in his wedding day best, just as red as she, and smiling handsomely down at her.

He removed the veil from her face, and she returned his beaming smile. It wasn't long before they were shooed to the family altar, where they collapsed to their knees to pray to Shang's ancestors and Heaven and Earth. As soon as this was over they stood, bowed to one another, and that was that. Officially, they were married. Shang lead her inside, where his family hosted the first wedding banquet and after a brief dinner, they were lead to the bridal chamber.

For a while the guests just stood in the room as they sat on the bed, and Mulan was finally able to take off her small good luck mirror. She paused to glance at her reflection and smiled softly to herself, and then set it aside. The people all poked jokes and gestured for several hours, and she and Shang sat in near silence until they all left and the door was closed. The sun was down by now, and the room was dimly lit by candles and the moonlight streaming in from the window. Suddenly, she was nervous. She cleared her throat and Shang watched her before he burst into laughter.

Mulan looked at him in dumb shock before she crossed her arms. "What's so funny?"

"You, my darling wife. You are." He shook his head. "The worst part is over. Why do you look so nervous?"

She shook her own head in return. "Well technically I'm shaming you and my parents tonight by not being pure. Secondly, I've never had to…be anyone's wife."

Shang shook his head. "I'm not ashamed of you. You weren't anyone else's, and you don't have to be afraid. I love you just as much as my wife as I did before. I love you even more, as a matter of fact." He reached to touch her face and she blushed under his hand, her skin warm to his touch.

He didn't understand her real dilemma, how could he? Men were not expected to be what women were. Husbands didn't _have_ to be good to their wives, but wives had to strive to please their husbands. She let it go though as he touched her face, and she turned her head to look into his eyes, shining with the candlelight, and somehow darker than she had ever seen them. "I can hardly believe I'm someone's wife now," She remarked, taking a deep breath.

Shang smiled. "Well, I don't care what anyone ever said before," He scooted to taste her lips, the first time since he had married her, and they were sweet and wonderful for the taking. He cupped her face as he deepened his kiss and Mulan made a soft little noise that made him dip his body closer to hers. He loved her, not a fiber of him denied that now, and he was relieved that they had managed to be married without any real issues.

Shang's hands deftly undid the jacket and skirt that she had been dressed in and she opened up his robe. Shang already desired her as his bride, and he didn't really want to concern himself with any other issue for the day than consummating the marriage. He could see sleepiness already pulling her away, and he knew she had to be up early. Peppering kisses over her body, he stroked her and kissed her until she writhed under him. He dropped his head down her body, making her ache in anticipation, and instead she jumped when he bit into her thigh. Hard enough to draw just a little bit of blood onto the sheets. He moved over her to press his mouth to hers and gently thrust into her body, letting himself moan out loud for the first time.

Mulan arched her back and claimed his mouth again quickly. And tonight it was lazy, and lovely. They kissed and fondled one another, and Mulan focused more on his happiness than anything else. Their bodies rocked in a synchronized rhythm until Shang couldn't hold back, reaching his orgasm inside of her. For a moment they just held one another, safe from being discovered by nosey soldiers or concerned family guardians. Shang bent his head to kiss her forehead, and lifted from being on top of her to lie next to her and gather her onto his chest.

Mulan's mouth quirked devilishly and she tilted her head up to look at his sweaty face in the candlelight. "You're a clever man, Shang. But don't you ever scare me like that again." He laughed underneath her and she felt him bury his face in her neck.

"Sorry. You know someone's going to volunteer to wash the bedding, I didn't want anyone to go tattling on us." His voice was tired and it made Mulan realize she was exhausted, too. He nuzzled her with his nose. "Sleep. You have to be up at dawn."

"You'll be right behind me," She promised softly.

* * *

><p>Mulan woke just before dawn with a little help from Mushu. Who came to offer her a wedding gift and say goodbye. They didn't really get to talk to Mulan made it a point to track him down later. Instead, she dressed, and hurried to the family alter. Paying her respects to the ancestors, she was finally greeted by Shang's family.<p>

First Wife, Shang's biological mother, was introduced to her first. Li Mei, a svelte woman with a palpable disdain for her husband and his second wife, Li Xue. Jiang had two daughters, both married, with Li Mei and one daughter, around seven years old, with Li Xue. The thought made Mulan cringe, and she hoped beyond hope that Shang wouldn't take another wife as selfish as that thought was. They all bestowed gifts on her, and just when she felt like she might burst from fear, Shang joined them.

"Darling," His mother greeted him with a sweet smile and they embraced. Mulan watched the scene with interest, and suddenly, Li Xue made a noise that made mother and son separate with scowls.

"I really don't think our new daughter-in-law wants to see you dote on her husband, Li Mei."

At the use of her full name, Mei raised her brow, shooting the younger woman a disgusted face before she turned her attention to her son's young bride. "If she gets on your nerves half as much as she does mine, just let me know. I'll find a way to lock her outside during a lightning storm," It was said low enough for only her, Mulan and Shang to hear, but Mulan was not accustomed to behaving like a lady just yet, and she snickered out loud.

"Is something funny, Mulan?" Jiang's voice, colder than usual. Mulan immediately composed herself and Shang shot his father a look of annoyance.

"No, Baba." She replied softly, dropping her gaze.

"Mulan, you're not really leaving with them today, are you? I mean, you know your duty is to spend today with Shang uh, _alone, _so you can be pregnant when he comes back…"

"Auntie," Shang barked. "That's not appropriate."

Mulan answered anyway. "It is my honor to serve the Emperor as he sees fit," And it was just the right amount of patriotic and proper. Shang beamed at her, and Mei smiled her approval.

"Mulan has plenty of time to be concerned about children." She told them with a soft smile. "I didn't have Shang until nearly two years after I married Jiang." She patted his cheek and he smiled fondly back at her. "And everything turned out fine."

"We will start having children much sooner than that," Shang announced, making Mulan blush and look up at him with a raised brow. "But this mission does come first. I want my sons to grow up in a safe country."

They conversed for a while before the elder wives went inside to see to it that the servants had breakfast coming along, the General set off to have other servants pack for him. Already prepared to go, Shang took his wife's hand and lead her on a walk through the gardens. And Mulan kept her eyes down as they did, thinking about everything that had been said.

"What's the face?" He asked playfully.

"What face? This is my face."

"You know I know you better than that, Mulan."

She sighed, shaking her head. "I know what my duty is now, I just. I don't know. I'm not really ready to be a mother. I don't know much of anything about children." Shang's face fell, but he still managed to look sympathetic. "I'm afraid I won't be a very good mother if I can't even manage to take care of my children."

"You know," He rubbed her back soothingly. "I've heard it all comes naturally. Not right away, but over time. You'll get the hang of it. It's not like it's going to happen next week, anyway." She nodded her understanding and they were quiet again. Shang dropped a kiss onto the top of her head. "I know I didn't say anything about it to them, but I'd love to have a few daughters, too."

"You would?"

"Mmm, I'd hope they would be just like you."

"Why would you say something so awful?" But when he looked at her in surprise she was smiling and he laughed at what she had said.

"I've never been afraid of a little challenge."

Nodding, Mulan paused, stopping to take both of his hands in hers. "Well, I promise. This is my last excursion onto the battlefield. Then we'll have as many as we can handle and figure it all out together." That seemed to really please him, he smiled at her and bent to kiss her gently, cupping her chin with two fingers before he pulled away.

"I love you."


	5. Chapter 5

A Change to Grace

Chapter Five

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><p>AN- Hi to all! Sorry this took so long, I caught a cold and I'm working 40 hours a week, which is new to me. I cannot seem to sleep enough, but I haven't forgotten you! Here's a bit more of the story to keep us all going a couple of days! We'll explore Shang's family a bit and spend some quality time with the married couple before things get a little darker.<p>

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><p>After his little platoon was secure for the night, Li Jiang ducked from the dark comfort of his room in the palace to pad swiftly to the throne room. It had been an eventful week, and they had only just returned from the Li house several hours ago, ready to start their mission in the morning. But there was still much for the general to discuss with his uncle. The halls were grand, and a nice contrast to the dirty tents and muddy fields that they typically slept in out at war, and part of Jiang wished he could retire to those halls. But that was both selfish and unlikely, his troops needed him. His country did. And he was proud to fight for it.<p>

Entering the room, he was overwhelmed by the wonderful scent of burning incense. It always smelled rich of some sort of burning perfume when he would go speak to the Emperor in this room, it was something that Jiang had grown fond of over the years, because it meant the old man was at peace. He found him seated in a cushiony chair off to the side, his eyes closed and his head bowed in prayer. Jiang immediately dropped to his knee and bet his own head as he joined the prayer, and once he finished, he spoke up, but did not lift his head until the Emperor acknowledged him. "You wanted to see me, Excellency?"

"I was pleased to witness your son and daughter-in-law's happiness when you returned, Li Jiang," His voice was a mix of gentle and doting. "I'm glad that everything came together as well as it did under such short notice."

Jiang smiled. "It did, it was lovely. She'll make him very happy."

The Emperor stood, fingers pressed together, his eyes more serious now. "I'll be straight with you, General. I have a separate mission for your son to complete. I have set up an alliance between the Middle Kingdom and Qui Gong, and in order for it to work, my three eldest daughters are to be wed to three of their princes in three days time."

Jiang bowed respectfully. "I understand, your Excellency. I will send Shang and one of our platoons, and I will lead my others in a pre-emptive strike."

"I hope to defeat the Mongols without the use of force, General. I only need your men to patrol our borders." He turned to his nephew. "Let Shang select his men wisely. If the alliance does not happen within three days, it will crumble."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe we're doing this," Mulan grumbled as they rode under the pulsing, hot sun. Khan had just been watered so he was in good spirits, but she was sagging on him, making him glance up at her from time to time. "Not a week after our wedding we're delivering three people to be forced to marry three other people? This is insane."<p>

"This is our mission," Shang reminded. He was gentle but stern, and one of his hands reached over to grab Mulan's. "It's not perfect, but at least our world is."

Mulan blushed a little and nodded sadly. She hated to give in, she wished she could just ride the princesses to safety, but Shang was right. They had all given solemn oaths. And she honestly felt like she would shame him more than anyone if she did anything to upset the mission. She could be at peace with what she was doing knowing it would make her husband happy.

Shang watched the flutter of emotion on her face and he smiled, moved by the warmth of her smile. It was frightening, in a way, to see how much she had grown in his care. Starting out as a wide eyed child in his camp and developing into a heroine, a wife. And he hoped that sooner than later she'd earn the title of mother, too. He knew that wasn't something one needed to rush. Nature, after all, would take it's course and the gods would decide. But he loved her, deeply. And he felt an obligation already, that burned deep in his belly, to create a family with her. And to prolong his military lineage with at least one son. Anything could happen to him on the battle field, in a decade, or even a year, or a day. Knowing he left that plane with an heir to take his place would bring him great comfort.

He kept a hold of her hand until they stopped for the night, and made camp. As soon as the tent was up, and the men were in their own, he hurried into the privacy that it yielded to scoop her up from where she was playing chess to curl up on their makeshift bed. Mulan laughed softly, and the sound made that familiar churn in his belly ignite. Their eyes met and he thought, perhaps, for a moment, that she had that same ache inside of her. Touching her face, Shang smiled very slightly down at her, clearing his throat. "I'm really proud of you," He professed, fingertips tickling the skin over her cheekbone.

Mulan looked at him with interest, her own eyes soft, and glowing with love. Her mouth quirked at his words, and she lifted her head to kiss his lips gently. "Then I am pleased."

"I mean it, Mulan. A part of me wondered…I wasn't sure you were really prepared to go through all of this. But you have shown the world that you are the strongest of your kind." He lifted her hand to kiss the back of it, and Mulan's heart pounded at the gesture. It felt almost like a courtship, like he was winning her over for the first time, and she greatly enjoyed the sensation. "I am honored to be yours."

Mulan really did feel the same ache inside of her when he spoke to her that tenderly. When he looked at her. Hell, she had it just watching him pray sometimes. But unlike Shang, she had no idea what it meant. Just where it was and what it felt like. She needed to quench something inside of her, she knew, but she still would have to learn what exactly. Their mouths had drifted closer together and Shang stole her kiss from her, almost like a snake snapping forward for a bite. His teeth scraped her lips, and once she got past the initial sting, she fell into him, and the depth of emotion there.

Shang undressed her quickly and unbuttoned his shirt. He left it, as he pulled his trousers out of the way, and before he could press into her to lay her back, Mulan moved over him, straddling his hips, her mouth covering his greedily. He smiled into her kiss, returning it with vigor until they had to break for air. He smiled up at her with a sharp gleam in his eye. "Gotta always have things your way, huh?" She made a face, her "prove you wrong" face, and Shang ignored the challenge. Instead he ground up into her with a gentle rocking motion, causing her to shudder a little. But he didn't thrust up into her. Instead his hand dropped between them to stroke her gently, feeling moisture already building deep inside of her. "Mulan…"

"Shhh," It was all she could do with the way her voice would waver if she spoke, and she smiled at him. Stealing another kiss he jumped a little when he felt her hand touch him, something she had never done before. Something that was going to send him over way too fast if she kept it up. And one look into his eyes told her that much. She kept her grip, but used it to settle herself against him so she could easily slip him inside of her. They both groaned in relief at the familiar feeling of being joined, and at the odd new sensation of her being on top.

Mulan arched her back as she swirled her hips into a steady rhythm. Shang groaned and squeezed his eyes shut beneath her, savoring the different sensation. Yes, she definitely had to get her way, and for once in their brief relationship, Shang wasn't about to complain. He lifted one hand to cup her breast, teasing the nipple gently, and earning a pleased little noise low in her throat, which made him thrust upward into her. They both gasped, and he opened his eyes to look up at her, her face half dark, half lit by moonlight, and her curves blue with the same light.

He managed to sit up with her still settled in his lap, and the playing field was even again. Mulan looked at him with wonder, and they rocked into one another as they fell into a kiss, his hand brushing her hair out of her face and caressing her cheek affectionately. "Shang," She gasped, halfway over a cliff that she was not afraid to dive over. The combination of love and arousal so overwhelming that she might explode if she didn't have some sort of release. But her voice only drove him to thrust up harder, and she gave a soft cry as finally she made that leap, shuddering as she clutched his body close to hers, planting desperate kisses down along the column of his throat.

And Shang wasn't far behind her, feeling her breath and hearing her whine, her nails scraping his shoulders did him in. He pulled her down around him in a last ditch effort to cease the painful orgasm, grunting as he let himself come down from heaven inside of her. They sat a moment, gasping for air, and pressing soft little kisses to one another's faces before Mulan slumped against him, her shoulders shaking with soft laughter. "I don't think I could ever tire of this."

Shang smiled and stroked her hair, shaking his head. "I hope you won't, I hope to never bore you."

"You couldn't." She pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth. "I hope to never dissatisfy you."

He sighed at that but caught the joke, his lips twisting into a little grin. "I hope for that as well."

Mulan's eyes grew wide and she slapped his chest playfully before they both burst into laughter and fell back to the ground, curled up in one another's arms. Shang shimmied the covers over them and nuzzled his face into her neck, making her squirm with delight. "We have an early day tomorrow. Good night, my little wife."

* * *

><p>Being Shang's wife came with a heavy sense of obligation. Mulan wasn't sure why, she had been Fa Zhou's daughter for a long time. That alone came with a strict sense of one's place and more often than not, she was never in hers. But even as Shang's Lieutenant and an officer of the Emperor in her own right, she was always in her place at his side. She didn't agree with the Emperor's strategy, but Shang did. And so the entire ride to Qui Gong, she deferred to all of Shang's instructions, save during a few short battles with bandits on the way.<p>

It was sad though, to see the Princesses off to their wedding. She couldn't hide that, no matter how devoted she was to her husband. And so, she did not attend that sacrificial slaughter. She went to bed early and shed a few tears for the women, who were all her own age, and all even more obligated to respect their father's wishes than Mulan ever had. She had a lot of respect for them all at the end of the day, they were fiercely loyal, even if she caught a secret gleam of sadness in each one's eyes on the way.

They set out to meet with the General the next day, and the ride took almost ten days. A few days away from the rendezvous point, Mulan had the chance to stop in to say hello to her parents and Grandmother, and was alarmed to find her father in poor health. "Don't worry," Fa Li told her with the gentlest little wink. "He is a very strong man. And he loves you too much to stay ill for too long."

After a night in her village they said goodbye and Shang practically had to drag her back onto the road, although he did so with the utmost gentleness. He knew how devoted she was to her family, and had they not been on duty, he would have volunteered for them to stay and watch over Fa Zhou himself. Arriving at Jiang's camp, Mulan greeted her father in law politely before going to eat with the rest of the soldiers as father and son sat down to speak.

Bowing to one another, they say in the General's tent, and Jiang smiled. "I received word from the Emperor three days back, he is very pleased. The alliance has been formed and Qui-Gong soldiers are already patrolling those lands which you have left behind."

Shang nodded. "I am pleased to be of assistance, father."

"How did Mulan handle it?"

"She was a good soldier," Shang said with a wistful smile. "And an honorable wife. I know it upset her, but she did not express that more than once."

Jiang nodded with a pleased smile. "It's been over three weeks since you were wed. I'm anxious for the first few months to pass."

"As am I."

"I had hoped to discuss this with you earlier, but I was wondering what your plans for her were once she becomes with child?"

Shang was hesitant to answer at first, as he had not spent much time thinking about that. "Naturally she won't be out here with us, if that comes to pass while we're still on the fields. But as far as a long term plan I hadn't really considered much. I don't know if she'll ever be able to just stay home for the rest of her life."

Jiang seemed troubled by this. "Surely you know that the battlefield is no place to have babies resting, Shang? I understand that Mulan is very strong willed, but once she becomes a mother she will need to find uh..a new hobby, if you will. If only for your family's safety."

"I know."

His father nodded, satisfied his son would make the right choice. "Well, I'm off to rest. I'll meet you back here at dawn, to discuss movement around the patrol and our options."

"Good night, father." They bowed again and Shang left his father's tent, and pursued his wife. Some time had passed, and most everyone was done eating. Traipsing about, he found her down near the pond, sitting in the grass with her bare toes in the water. Smiling, he went to sit next to her, settling his hand on hers. "Why are you melancholy this evening?"

"I suppose I'm just tired," She said softly, smiling over at him. There was something in her eyes…a little bit of fear. Something Shang wasn't used to seeing, and Mulan shook it off. "I'm sorry. How did your meeting go?"

"Well," Shang answered simply, also drifting into something he didn't want to talk about. They sat in awkward silence, staring at the water, right back to where Mulan had started and finally she stood. He looked up at her. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

She nodded, touching his face. "I'd tell you."

"Okay." He stood as well and lifted her hand to kiss the back, earning a grin that made him feel much better. "Ready for bed yet?"

"Yes." Tightning her grip on his hand, she lead him off eagerly, encouraged by his laughter and the promise of seclusion. They ducked into their tent and Shang bent to kiss her, surprised when she withdrew from him. "I don't…can we just be close tonight?"

"I thought kissing was close."

"Please, Shang."

His face had long since fallen and he sighed, releasing her to go drop onto their bedding. She watched him with a frown. "I did not think you would be denying my this early on."

"Shang…"

"I'm tired." He snapped, lying back. "I'm dealing with all of these politics and I just…I need rest."

"I'm tired too." She grumbled, turning to put the lamp out.

"Well then perhaps you should have stayed home. Like the _other _wives." He looked up to see the outrage on her face, and Mulan snuffed the light out before storming out into the campsite. He sighed as he settled back, and rolled his eyes when he heard the tent flap open again. "Back already? I'm not apologizing."

His mother's voice startled him into a sitting position. "Oh, Li Shang. It's so nice to see you two are getting along so well already."

* * *

><p>Li Mei hummed as she poured her son a cup of tea, setting the pot back onto it's little hook above the fire. And Shang watched her, slumped in shame where he sat with the teacup in his hands. "Mother…"<p>

"I'm not here to scold you, Shang. You're a man now."

"But you're disappointed." He insisted, frowning up at her.

She sighed. "I cannot teach you every little aspect of lift, my boy. You have to learn for yourself." She took a sip of her tea, pausing thoughtfully before forging ahead without a care. "It might interest you to know that Mulan suspects that she's with child."

And Shang spit his tea out, blinking up at her. "But…"

"I thought it was odd too. These things take time. And it's nearly been a month but there should still be a few more weeks before she would feel the effects…" She glanced at Shang. "Unless she conceived a few weeks before you were married."

Shang fought with every muscle in his body to keep his gaze raised and hide the fact that they had copulated before marriage. "What are you saying?"

She stirred her tea gracefully. "Should we be sending the Fa family a whole pig for Mulan?"

"Oh mother," He rubbed his face, a knot suddenly forming at the back of his neck. "If Mulan is with child, it's my child. I…" He swallowed. "I laid with her. Before we were married."

"Ah," She set her spoon aside and her whole demeanor changed. "Well in that case, I've already begun to pray for a boy…"

"You're not angry?"

"I'm furious, I raised you better. But Li Xue is to stupid to figure this all out so there shouldn't be any gossip by the time someone confirms that Mulan is expecting." Mei smiled at her son. "At least you're married now. The ancestors seem to have forgiven the two of you."

Shang was thoughtful for a moment, and he looked up at her. "Is…was she upset? Sad?"

Mei smiled and sighed softly. "At first. But she seemed to become…peaceful. Very quickly."

"She's been doing that a lot." Shang grumbled, and gazed at his mother as she touched his arm.

"She's growing up, my love. We all must."


	6. Chapter 6

A Change to Grace

Chapter Six

AN- I just wanted to thank ALL of you who read this story, my stats count for this story so far is over 1400 (490 unique visitors). Even if you're just a perv reading it for the smut, I sincerely thank you for bothering to read it at all. I'm sorry for any spelling errors and possible inaccuracies. I'm researching as I go, and I'm no expert in any of this culture. I just really wanted to write a good story for the grown ups, and while I won't ever call it good, it's nice to hear you guys say it!

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><p>Mulan had returned to the tent in the middle of the night, damp from rain but silent. Had she not seemed so upset, Shang would have tried to talk to her, instead, he remained "asleep" on his side. It pained him to be withdrawn for her, especially considering it was their first real fight. And considering what his mother had told him. But he supposed the next day would be just as good for making up. He woke before sunrise to meet his father in the General's tent at dawn, as promised, and kept the news of Mulan's possible pregnancy to himself. Especially considering Jiang was a smart man, and might put the numbers together.<p>

When Mulan woke a couple of hours later, Li Mei had straightened up and made her breakfast. They chatted over the porridge, about why Mei was even there (something about a request from her husband) and then, before she knew it, her mother in law was off to do something else. Mulan dressed thoughtfully, tied her hair off like Ping's instead of letting it down as she had of late. Anything to keep her mind off the possibility of the person she suspected might be gestating in her womb. Leave it to Shang to tempt her into lust early and then impregnate her on the same night.

She shook her head as anger steamed her over again and took a moment to pray and meditate. She hoped that would pass that feeling. And it did, for the most part. She left the tent calmly and greeted Yao, Ling and Chien Po, who were eating their breakfast before going to practice with the arrows. She was surprised, when she reached the nearby clearing, to see Shang with a group of new recruits, all shaking in their boots as he sized them up for the first time. And it reminded her of her first day, and the disdain all over his face and the ripple of his bare muscles…

Her brow quirked, and inwardly, she dared any of _those_ soldiers to be female, and to have any of those thoughts about him. Shaking her head, she sat in the grass and watched him repeat the first several basic training exercises before he left them to practice for the day. And as he turned to return to camp he spotted her immediately. For a moment they stared at one another, unsure if they were calm enough from the fight to speak, but finally, he approached. For a moment he just stared at the ground and then he finally looked up into her face. "You know I want you here, Mulan. I'm sorry." He cleared his throat. "And I understand that you just needed your space."

Mulan was stubborn at first but the sincere look on his face made her sigh and step forward to drape her arms around his neck, earning a pleased smile from him. "I'm sorry I was cross with you. I just didn't want…"

"I know." He told her gently, nuzzling her nose with his, earning a sweet smile from her. "You know I love you."

"I hope you do."

* * *

><p>It was another several days before they received word that the Mongol attacks had all either been defeated or abandoned. It was another week before they reached the Imperial City from there, and at that point, Mulan was glad that the war was over. The Emperor threw a fantastic feast upon their return and afterward, Mulan slept for half the day.<p>

When she awoke, Shang was not there, and her curiosity was sufficiently piqued. She dressed quickly and dashed from their room in the palace to tip-toe around from door to door. Mostly found concubines of the Emperor, and their children. She had been wandering for some time when she reached a quieter wing, and approached the only door there that was not completely shut. It was cracked, and the painted wood was almost all the way to the ceiling, and very ominous. Mulan crept up close, and immediately recognized her husband's voice.

"It's been a long several months, cousin. My father and I were tracking Huns before they breached the borders, I've had very little time to enjoy myself." Peeping into the cracked door she saw Shang take a sip of wine. "You may be aware that I was married recently."

"The whole palace is, Shang. The women are abuzz about the Hero of China."

Shang shook his head at the man, his eyes tired but his smile soft. "That's a very small part of her. I find she's very complex. I've been very surprised by her ability to adapt to being a loyal bride, what with her actions in the army." His cousin raised a brow but Shang continued. "Very pleasantly so."

"You'd best keep a good eye on her, things in the palace are not all well. The Empress does not approve of your choice of bride." The young man flinched slightly. "Things have been hostile here since Father announced that he had given you his blessing."

"His is the only one that counts."

"You know no woman would ever see it that way." The men laughed in unison at this, understand one another and Mulan huffed indignantly, her cheeks red. "I have to wonder how safe any of us in line are, what with his health declining."

"Is it serious?"

"He will not live out a full year," The cousin nodded. "And there's the three of us in line."

Shang's features were dark at that and he stared down at his glass. "I have no interest. You and Li Xong can argue over the throne when he dies."

"I sincerely doubt he'll leave _me_ the throne. If you don't want it, Xong will be a shoe-in."

"Only if you let him, Qing." Shang's eyes raised to where Mulan was peering into the door and she gasped, taking off down the hall. He pretended not to have noticed, and finished his drink. When he and Qing were done, he walked down the hall calmly until he reached the other corridor and he walked to their room. He found her sitting on the bed, combing her hair, and her hands were shaking despite her best attempt to remain calm. "You've been quite nosey today."

She glanced up at him hesitantly. "Are you angry?"

Sitting next to her he sighed softly and reached to stroke her hair, shrugging slightly. "I mean, a little. But you had every right to know those things, I just wish you hadn't felt the need to snoop." But it was easy for him to forgive such a thing. He leaned to press a tender kiss to her temple. "You've been so tired. I was worried."

It was her turn to shrug. "So much traveling."

He nodded, listing her hair to kiss her neck. "I love you, have I ever told you that?" When he pulled back she was smiling proudly, her cheeks rosie with happiness. "You just…you make my life complete. Really. It all comes together when I'm with you." She blushed more and they met in a soft little kiss.

"Then we'd be foolish to ever be apart."

"Or to keep secrets from one another," Shang said softly. She caught the tone of his voice and looked at him with a raised brow before her face fell and she sighed. He shook his head. "Would you have told me before you'd given birth?"

"I don't know anything for certain," She reminded softly. "And I don't want to find out from a court physician or an army doctor that will tell people that the child were conceived before the wedding. I want someone who doesn't know anything about us."

"I suppose that's fair," He said softly. "We can stop somewhere on the way home." She nodded stiffly in response and Shang reached to cover her tiny hand in his, his brows creased with concerned. "What's wrong? You seem distant about this."

Sighing she shrugged, but turned her hand to lace her fingers through his. "It just, it happened. Fast. I didn't plan for it to happen this fast. I'm not sure I'm going to be a good mother." She looked up at him with a hesitant smile. "I guess there's only one way to find out, though, isn't there?"

"Don't be silly, Mulan. You'll be great." He kissed the top of her hair, one hand settling uncertainly over her womb. "They won't know how lucky they are to have you as a mother." They exchanged cheesy grins before Mulan sighed, squirming to wrap her arms around him, and Shang lifted her gently to settle her on his knee so he could more easily wrap his arms around her. "Not to mention I'll be there with you. Every step of the way."

Mulan suddenly tensed and she popped her head up to look at him. "But not as Emperor, right?"

He sighed but smiled down at the curiosity in her face. "Not as Emperor. I don't want to be an emperor."

"But why are you third in line?"

Shang shifted them and plopped back against the bed with her held tightly so she fell back with him, and he cuddled against her warm body. "My father renounced his place in line when I was young. I can do the same, eventually. Looks like I'm going to have to do it after the baby is born. Which will ruin their chance of ever being Emperor."

"If there's a baby going to be born, I think it will thank you one day." She said softly, a little smile creeping over her face. "It'll be hard enough being born into such decorated military lineage, much less to stick royalty on top of that." He smiled in understanding and she studied his face before she settled in closer. "I'm sorry about your uncle though."

Shang nodded. "It's very sad. He's a good man. It'll be interesting to see what happens. Qing is the elder of his sons, but he's become a bit of a notorious uh, _heartbreaker_. Whereas Xong is the younger, fiercely dedicated brother. And when I say fierce I might mean 'scary'."

Mulan blinked. "And then there's you. Decorated military captain…"

"Who is not any sort of politician." Shang reminded with a little annoyance.

"That just makes you a shoe-in, Shang."

Shang laughed a little at her insistence. "Well you better hope not, because that would make you Empress. The cross-dressing, sword wielding empress of the _Li_ _Dynasty._" Mulan looked at him with a scowl and he grinned at her, scooping her close to him. "I just don't think I could do it. And like you said. It would be an awful lot of responsibility for any sons of ours."

She smiled knowingly, and he cringed inwardly. Something about women and motherhood made them know everything, and he much preferred Mulan as the careless young girl he had met her as. "I know. But I'm only saying, I think it would be very honorable. Maybe you should just let your uncle decide."

"Who _are_ you?"

She laughed as he started to kiss her neck and smacked his shoulder, although she was thrown into the wonderful feeling of his embrace anyway. And in that moment she realized that life was going to be okay. They lie there for a long time, just enjoying one another's closeness before there was a knock on the door, and Shang sat up, pecking her head with a kiss before going to answer it.

In the doorway stood the younger of the Emperor's sons, Xong. He was short, tiny, even, compared to his cousin, and Mulan was surprised by that. Even Qing had been equal to Shang in height. She stood up and folded her hands in front of her and bowed her head respectfully as Shang offered him a half bow. "Xong."

"I've been asked to inform you that dinner is prepared." His voice was very nasally, and rasped slightly.

"Thank you. Allow me to introduce my wife, Li Mulan…"

Mulan bowed more, trying to poor her manners into her voice. "It is an honor to me-…"

"I have no interest in being introduced to you, _Li_ Mulan." He turned on his heel and left, leaving Mulan reeling with shock, and Shang staring after him with his hand still holding the door open. He finally turned to his wife and they shrugged to one another before they left the room to follow him down to the dining hall.

There, the Emperor and many of his concubines were seated. Qing and his sisters were also present and Xong was just sitting down as they walked into the room. Feeling greatly outnumbered, but obligated to play nice, Mulan bowed to them all with Shang before they were seated and serving had begun.

Everyone made light conversation for a while, eating and enjoying one another's company. Everyone but Xong, who sat there and complained about every single little thing he could. Finally Shang groaned, and Qing shot him an oddly approving glance. "By the way, Xong, I'd like to thank you for the way you disrespected Mulan earlier."

The Emperor looked at his soon, who sighed. "I'm not going to bow to a peasant."

Everyone at the table gasped, especially Mulan. All her young life she had known that her family didn't amount to much, but no one had ever put it to her so plainly. Shang was fuming, gripping at the table. "Don't you call her that…"

"Xong I'm surprised at you. Li Mulan is no longer a peasant."

Xong glared at his father. "Marriage does not change the dirt she bathed in for all those years."

Mulan stood, slamming her fist on the table. And Shang looked up at her with a pleading face. As much as it hurt, she knew that telling Xong off would only disgrace him. So she walked away, leaving the meal unfinished and everyone staring after her.

"I'm going to beat you to hell," Shang growled, getting up and moving to his cousin, who stood defiantly before him.

"You can try."

"You pompous son of a bitch!" Shang leapt at his cousin but barely got a punch in before the Emperor's guards hauled them off of one another. Still swinging he grunted in disappointment and took a few deep breaths, coming down from the urge to kick his scrawny butt.

"Both of you!" They both looked at the Emperor at the same time, blinking. "Into the other room!"

* * *

><p>Mulan was so angry, it felt like her skin was on fire. She felt feverish, and yet she didn't feel ill. Even sitting outside, it was almost too hot for her to stand. When Qing found her, she was sitting in the garden, fanning her face, and trying desperately to calm down so the hotness would go away, but he could tell just to look at her that she wasn't having much luck. He approached slowly, offering her a quirky little smile.<p>

"Don't mind Xong. He's incredibly uptight." She didn't respond at first, just continued to wave her fan around, trying desperately not to boil over. So Qing approached even closer, stretching a bit before he, too, sat on the bench. "It's clear how Shang feels about you, and in the end, that's all that matters."

"That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that Xong is _right._" Qing looked like he was going to argue and Mulan waved him off. "No but…if he wanted to. He could be Emperor. I've lived on a farm all my life."

"Farms are lovely places. You raise all the animals I plan to eat," Qing remarked, and they shared a brief smile.

"I just don't want him to give up everything he could have for me." She said softly. "I want him to realize that he could have it all. Me, China, thirty concubines, if he must."

"Well maybe he will. He'll have to figure that out."

They sat for a moment, Mulan had calmed down and stopped fanning herself, and Qing just sat with his hands on his lap, staring at the ground until someone cleared their throat and they both looked up at Shang. Qing smiled. "Ah, we were just talking about you. But I'm afraid I have a date tonight."

Qing stood and Shang moved to take his place. "You always have a date."

"And I'm not ashamed of that." Shang's cousin winked at them before darting off into the night. Mulan and her husband exchanged glanced and she sighed deeply, wringing her fan between her hands as she tried to think of what to say to apologize for the way she had acted. Shang, however, had other plans. And he spoke up before she had a chance.

"I almost beat his face in."

She looked up at him with wide eyes, and it made Shang's heart churn a little. He scooped her hands up to kiss the backs of both, shaking his head. "No one will ever disrespect you in my presence, Mulan." He leaned forward to kiss her face. "You deserve more respect than any lazy bastard, you put your life on the line for your country. Twice."

Mulan nodded, but did not agree verbally. Because she didn't, really. Her parents had always been firm on her place in life, and how lucky she (or any girl in her village) would be to marry a man with wealth. But she was grateful for everything Shang was giving her, including his wisdom. She moved to kiss his cheek and reached to take his hand. "How long do we need to stay here? I'd very much like it if we could go soon."

"We can leave in the morning." He offered softly, looking up into her face and the way the moonlight surrounded it, like a glowing, silver halo.

"Then let's go pack. And think of other ways to pass the night until dawn."


	7. PLEASE READ

Note!

I have been working on an update to this story for a couple of weeks now just in time for the major M rated story sweeps.

Because of this, I am stopping my progress and focusing my efforts on saving everything I have already uploaded because I no longer have copies of it. If you see this story has been deleted, check for it on Adultfanfiction dot net . My username there will be the same, and I will continue it there in the instance that it's deleted.

Thanks so much guys. This story has gotten nearly 40,000 views and I am so incredibly grateful.


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